And When You Get the Choice
by gotalittlebitstronger
Summary: After weeks of studying for and sitting their NEWT exams, Sirius finally gets some quality time with his boyfriend. That is, if Remus can actually manage to stay awake. Winding down after NEWTs, slow dancing but not really, and symbolic key bequeathing.


**Title is from Lee Ann Womack's song "_I Hope You Dance_" - it's both a cop-out _and _relative to the plot!**

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><p><strong>After weeks of studying for and sitting their NEWT exams, Sirius finally gets some quality time with his boyfriend. That is, if Remus can actually manage to stay awake.<strong>

**Winding down after NEWTs, slow dancing but not really, and symbolic key bequeathing.**

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><p>When Remus first pushed open the door to the seventh-year dormitory, he had to double-check the sign to make sure that he hadn't accidentally stopped off at the wrong floor. No, it was definitely their dormitory.<p>

Only it wasn't.

While he was standing there rooted to the floor, contemplating life and everything he knew about the universe, Sirius, who was still standing where he'd been when the door opened, in the middle of the dormitory with his arms raised in a "ta-da!", huffed grumpily. "Are you going to stand there all day? My arms are getting tired!" he whined.

With a caution born of sharing a dormitory with James and Sirius for nearly seven years, Remus slowly pulled out his wand and held it before him as he took a small step into the room, staring around for the punch line to whatever prank of which he was the victim.

"For the love of - I'm not going to hex you or pour Shrinking Solution down your throat or release the hounds on you, Moony!"

"Can't blame a bloke for being cautious around you lot," Remus muttered to himself, reluctantly giving in and stowing his wand back in his robes. He walked to where his boyfriend stood and kissed him as both a hello and an apology. Then he pulled back, licked his lips, and grimaced at the acrid taste. "Ugh, you've been smoking those things again!"

"Oh, right, sorry." Sirius made a vague gesture at his own face and the corner of his mouth twitched. "There, sorry, I forgot."

The display of wandless magic, as always, made Remus grin. There were only two spells Sirius always managed to perform wandlessly - both born out of necessity. When they began dating in sixth year, Remus informed him point-blank that he refused to kiss Sirius after he'd been smoking because the taste was horrid. And since Sirius couldn't go running to brush his teeth every time he wanted to steal a kiss, he'd cast the spell so many times that eventually it became a reflex. The other spell was - well. Private.

Blood rushed to fill his cheeks and he turned to stare around the room, willing the blush to go away even as he took in the oddness he'd been so wary of upon entering. All of their four-posters, trunks, and wardrobes had been shrunken and tossed carelessly by the window, leaving the room completely bare, save for a small table that definitely wasn't there before, atop which sat a large rectangular wooden box. Without the furniture, the circular room appeared massive, but with the aid of a dozen or so lit candles floating about, it was actually very warm and cozy.

When he turned back to Sirius, his boyfriend was wearing an anxious expression and fidgeting nervously with his trousers, pleating the fabric between his thumb and index finger repeatedly. Rather than comment on the nervous habit, Remus instead bit his lip and asked, "What's all this, then? Did I forget we had a date tonight?"

"What - no, this is just…" Sirius huffed another sigh and shrugged. "Surprise?"

"A surprise, certainly." Remus glanced about the room again and his eyes settled once more on the wooden box. It sort of looked like… "Is that a Muggle record player? Where did you get it? Does it work? And if so, how is it working?"

"I dunno. I borrowed it from Evans."

"You borrowed it?"

"I borrowed it."

"You stole it."

"Yeah, I stole it."

Remus bit back an amused smile and leveled Sirius with a disapproving glare - which, judging by the grin he received in response, didn't work at all. "Stealing isn't nice, Pads. You _will _return it…once we've done whatever it is we're doing with it, that is."

"I thought it'd just be nice, you know, now that we're done with our exams, to have a little time to ourselves," Sirius explained, his cheeks flushing when Remus raised an inquisitive brow. "I just…we haven't spent any time together in weeks, at least none that didn't involve books and notes and quills everywhere. I've missed you."

"Pads, we went on a date Wednesday."

"_Last _Wednesday. And we went to the _library_. To study. Not exactly romantic."

"I gave you a hand job in the back corner!"

"No, you gave me _half _of a hand job - you stopped halfway through, said, 'Oh no I've forgotten the ogres!' and left me there with my cock out. And I'm pretty sure we scarred that poor Hufflepuff girl for life - but anyway, that wasn't _romantic_, Moony. Not that I'm saying it's your fault, I know how important grades are to you, I just…I miss you."

Sirius accompanied the last statement with the wounded puppy look, to Remus' dismay. The wounded puppy look always made him melt, _always_, and this time was no exception. "I miss you too, Sirius," he said. "And you're right, I'm sorry, I just get so…being a werewolf just means having to work twice as hard for half the results-"

"I know, Remus, really, I get it, honest. Prejudiced wankers-"

Remus bit his lip again to hold back his smile as Sirius went off on one of his rare but intensely fierce rants about equal rights for all kinds, from magical creatures to Muggleborns to gays (all except house elves; he still harbored mixed feelings on the elves, although he didn't like to speak on the subject so Remus couldn't necessarily say where the animosity came from on that front). He let the rambling continue for another minute or so, then reached out and grabbed a wildly gesticulating hand out of the air. "Alright, enough righteous fury for tonight," he teased lightly, pressing a loving kiss to Sirius' knuckles. "Now, what exactly did you have in mind for this unexpected romantic rendezvous?"

The indignation on Sirius' face immediately faded into sheepishness and he swallowed the rest of his tirade. "Oh. Right." Then his earlier cheer returned and he beamed happily. "You remember last month when Prongs and Evans were twirling all around the damn Common Room?"

Ah. That was it. The cleared-out room, the record player - it all made sense. Remus had noticed Sirius watching Lily and James as they danced, arms folded over his chest, sullen expression on his face. At the time he'd written it off as Sirius being miffed at James for abandoning their game of Exploding Snap for Lily, but new evidence would suggest that Sirius had actually been…jealous? Aloud, he asked, "Sirius, did you do all of this because you want to dance with me?"

Sirius shrugged, looking as always slightly uncomfortable by his own romantic gestures. "It's just…" he began, then hesitated. "I…it's okay for them to do mushy shit like that in public, but with us…you know?"

"I understand."

"Yeah. So I just wanted to…at least once?" Sirius continued, fidgeting once more with his trousers with his free hand. "I mean, if you don't want to-"

"Of course I want to!" Remus interrupted, using his grip on Sirius' hand to pull him closer. "However, full disclosure; I have no idea what I'm doing."

Remus knew it was the right thing to say when Sirius' face lit up and he beamed.

"No worries, Moonshine, I just happen to be an expert!"

"Just what exactly makes you a dancing expert?"

"Well, for starters, I watched Lily and James dance for about five minutes. And…that's it. But it was a very _long_ five minutes."

"I don't think time works that way, Sirius."

"If I had a Time-Turner-"

"But you don't have a Time-Turner."

"I could _so _have a Time-Turner!"

"Sirius Black, no witch or wizard in their right mind would give you a Time-Turner!"

"That's…probably true, actually," Sirius admitted grudgingly. "But I'm a Black; I've been taking dance lessons since I was young. So that may help a bit."

Shaking his head affectionately, Remus said, "Next time, lead with that. Alright then, Mr. Dance Expert, how do you want me?"

"Now don't you flirt with me, Remus J. Lupin, you agreed to dance with me and I intend to hold you to that."

"You can hold me any way you like."

"Remus!"

"Tetchy!" Remus said, clucking his tongue in disapproval. "Fine then. Tell me what to do."

Sirius continued to eye him suspiciously, and Remus put on the innocent expression he most typically used on teachers who caught the Marauders doing something they weren't supposed to be doing (so, his default expression, then). After a long moment, Sirius seemed to deem him sufficiently sobered, for he once again beamed brightly and began rattling off instructions. "Right, so first you need to change your stance, we're not _dueling_, Moony - yeah, relax a bit - no, not that much, straighten up, no slouching - no, your form's all wrong, wow, you really _are_ bad at this - oh, don't look at me like that, you're just uneducated - normally the taller person leads, but you're proving to be abysmal, so we'll have to make do-"

This went on for several long minutes, but Remus dutifully allowed his boyfriend's slagging and let Sirius rearrange his body so that one of Remus' hands was resting on Sirius' shoulder, the other clasped in Sirius' own. They stood that way for a long moment of silence, then Sirius grinned sheepishly and said, "Oh, right, the music."

He extracted his wand from its holster and carelessly flicked it in the direction of the record player. Miraculously, this seemed to work, for he managed to stow his wand and return his hand to its original position just as the music began, soft and delicate and pleasing to the ear. Taking a half-step closer, so that his body was nearly flush with Remus', Sirius stretched up to press a lingering kiss to his mouth. Pulling back so that his lips just barely brushed Remus', he murmured, "Just follow my lead."

"Right," Remus breathed out on a trembling sigh, and when Sirius finally began to move, he copied the movement, swaying gently from side to side. Despite his big talk, Sirius kept it simple, directing their bodies to keep repeating the same rocking motion, and after the first minute, Remus was too relaxed to care.

Being several inches taller than Sirius, it was difficult to rest his head on his boyfriend's shoulder, but it was worth the occasional twinge in his back for the opportunity to bury his face in Sirius' neck, breathe in his comforting, familiar scent, and allow himself to be lulled into a catatonic state.

What seemed like mere moments later, Sirius whispered his name.

"Hmm?" He really didn't want to lift his head from Sirius' shoulder. It was a nice shoulder. Shoulders weren't appreciated enough, as far as body parts went. His boyfriend's shoulders were nice, not too broad, lightly padded with muscle from playing Quidditch. The ends of his shaggy hair were a bit annoying when they brushed against his face, but other than that, it was a very comfy place. And it smelled _so good_…

"Are you falling asleep on me, Moons?"

"Dunno what you mean, Pads, 'm wide awake," Remus mumbled, ruining the statement immediately afterwards with a long, drawn-out yawn.

Sirius snorted something that sounded suspiciously like "bollocks" and said, "Well, you can't fall asleep yet, I haven't given you your gift."

"Not tonight, too tired."

"Not _that_!"

"Oh." Blinking back the fatigue, Remus straightened up, surreptitiously swiping at his eyes in an effort to do away with any trace of his weariness. "Right, okay, I'm up, I'm awake, go for it."

Huffing in exasperation, Sirius reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out a small black box. "It's not a ring, shut up," he said in response to Remus' suddenly anxious expression. "Your _face_, Moony. Honestly, it's not even _legal_!"

"Sod off." Remus grabbed the box from Sirius' hand and held it delicately, eyeing it as if it were a Dungbomb that might explode in his face. "It's awfully small," he said uncertainly. "Are you sure it's not a ring?"

"Yes, Moony, I bought you a mood ring," Sirius told him, his face completely devoid of expression. "I saw you admiring Lily's and thought you would enjoy having one of your own."

"Ha, yes, very funny."

"Oh for Merlin's sake, just open it!"

Remus rolled his eyes and gently pried open the black box. "It's…a key," he said lamely.

Sirius beamed, puffing his chest out with pride and loudly declaring, "It's a key to my flat!"

"Your…flat?"

"Yes!"

Remus hesitated. "But…I already have a key to your flat."

"Well, obviously, Moony. This _is _your key!"

He blinked. "Oh. Er…you're giving me my key to your flat? The key to your flat that you already gave me, along with James and Peter, respectively, two months ago? How did you even - did you go through my trunk again?"

"No! I mean, yes, to all of it. But I'm not just re-gifting your key, no, I'm giving you a _key_. To my _flat_." Sirius stressed the last part, lifting his eyebrows and staring beseechingly into Remus' eyes. "I'm giving _you_, my _boyfriend_, a _key _to my _flat_."

"Right. A key to your flat that was already in my possession."

"_Exactly_."

"Sirius, I've had a very long day-"

Groaning loudly in frustration, Sirius ran a hand through his hair and growled, "Remus, for fuck's sake, I want you to move in with me!"

The entire room was silent. Even the record player, as if sensing the enormity of the moment, let out one last soft note before the music ceased altogether. Remus himself had stopped breathing. For a long moment, he just stared down at the key; a key that until then had been light as a feather; a key that now felt leaden in his hand, weighted down with the importance it symbolized.

Sirius was frozen as well, breath caught in his throat. One hand was still in his hair, the other dangling at his side so that his fingers just barely grazed the fabric of his trousers, as if they were itching to go back to their nervous habit.

Eventually they were forced to breathe again, if only to keep from losing consciousness, and Remus took in several deep breaths before trusting his voice enough to ask, "What?"

Immediately, Sirius attempted to backtrack, nearly falling over his own words as he did. "I just thought - I mean, I know we've only been dating for about sixteen months, and some might say we're moving a bit fast, but - and really, when you think about it, we've been living in the same dormitory for seven years, so, really, it would be exactly the same as it is now, except that we can shag wherever we want - not that I only want you to live with me so that we can shag, of course not, I love you and I respect you and as a person I find you - and with the new werewolf legislation, it's going to be difficult for you to find work right away and I have an entire flat just sitting there and it's way too large for just me - and it's okay! It's okay if you don't want to, for whatever reason, I'm not going to demand a reason why you don't want to live together, it's totally your decision and I would never disrespect you by assuming I can make such an important-"

"Yes."

Sirius cut himself off mid-rant and his head snapped up. "What?" he breathed out, his expression oddly vulnerable.

"Yes." Remus' lips quirked up into a slow smile, and he let out a small laugh before continuing, "I would love to live with you. Idiot."

A huge grin lit up Sirius' face, but before he could reply, a disembodied voice said, "That was quite lovely, dear, and I hate to interrupt, but if you gentlemen have finished, would you mind terribly closing my lid? There's a bit of a draft."

They both started and turned to the record player, which, now that one was looking, did appear to be shivering. "Er, yes, sorry," Remus mumbled, stepping forward and tentatively shutting the lid and locking it into place. "Er…thank you for your service," he added lamely.

He barely heard its reply, "Anytime, dear", as Sirius had twirled him around and leaned it to kiss him fiercely, hands bracketing his face to hold him in place. The kiss was long and drawn-out and so thorough that by the time he pulled away, they were both gasping for breath and grinning dopily as they stared into each other's eyes.

"Thank you," Sirius said, his thumb moving to lovingly trace over Remus' bottom lip.

"It's your flat, Sirius, all I'm doing is agreeing to take up half of the space," Remus joked.

Sirius' grin morphed into a sad smile, and when he moved forward to bury his face into Remus' cloak, clarity struck Remus like a Stunner to the chest. Of course. Sirius hated being alone. He'd gone from living with his family, to sharing a dormitory with four other boys at Hogwarts, to staying with James at the Potters', and was now facing living by himself, in an apartment that was too big, too empty, too lonely for one person. And if there was one thing Sirius hated, it was being alone. It was a fear they shared; being absolutely, completely alone.

The summer before fifth year, one night while they were all staying over at the Potters', he'd once shared with them this fear, going on to explain what he was actually most afraid of: being alone with himself. _Half my family's mad_, he'd told them, curled up next to James on his bed and clutching a pillow to his chest. _Mostly the older ones, but my cousin Bella's already on her way to completely batty. Pureblood inbreeding, I'm certain, we're all of us fucked up in the head. Sometimes I get these really messed up thoughts, not Dark stuff, mind, but really messed up still. When I'm with you lot, I don't think those things. But sometimes, when I'm trying to sleep, they creep back in, and usually I just concentrate on Peter's snoring, or James' mumbling, or Remus' breathing, and they go away. And sometimes I wonder, if you lot weren't around, if I wouldn't do it. Just…lose it. Go mad. So I try not to be alone._

The memory contracted something in Remus' chest and he wrapped Sirius in his arms and hugged him tightly. Deciding it was best to drop the subject, he said, "Well, not that the kissing and the hugging and the emotional upheaval isn't grand and all, but do you think we could save any big discussions for tomorrow? If I don't go to bed in the next five minutes, I'm afraid I might pass out on you."

Sirius gave his torso one last squeeze before pulling back and heaving a very put-open sigh. "I suppose everyone needs their beauty sleep," he conceded graciously. "Not me of course, I'm naturally this gorgeous."

"Of course you are, love. Now, our furniture…?"

"Oh, right. Shit. Forgot."

As Sirius set to placing the beds and wardrobes in their proper places and unshrinking them, Remus stared down at the key still in his hand and had a brief moment of doubt. What if their living together didn't work out? What if they started arguing, fought over nothing, decided it wasn't worth the hassle, or even possibly broke up? What if he was making the wrong decision?

His gaze slid to Sirius who was trying to tug James' trunk over to his four-poster from where he'd mistakenly put it at the foot of his own, cursing and mumbling to himself under his breath and growling in frustration as the heavy trunk refused to budge. Sighing fondly, he went over to help, thinking as he did so that it didn't really matter if it was the wrong decision.

Remus loved Sirius.

It was the decision he was making.


End file.
